Response to Children Asking Embarrassing Questions
Fatwa No: 404344

Question

Salam brother,
Recently, when I was out of city because of business, our daughter (14 years old) asked about what sex was? And my wife told her that after marriage, when male and female meet and their private parts interact with each other, both of the participants gain pleasure. After few days when I am back, she asked about what a male private part looked like in real life? We told her that the “Awrah” parts are not to be looked at. To compensate her curiosity, my wife tried to show her a diagram privately but daughter rejected it by saying it was just a poster not a real body. Now, my wife suggests that making a video/picture of her husband’s private part without revealing the identity, would cure her curiosity. If we do not act soon, we are afraid that her curiosity might lead to knowledge, sites, movies which are not to be mentioned. We are very much confused about what to do or what not to do?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Firstly, it should be noted that this question is classified by pedagogists and behaviorists as an “embarrassing question” posed by children. They provided some guidelines for parents and cultivators in this regard, the most important of which are the following:

First, receiving such questions with a normal reaction, without showing any signs of annoyance or hurt the child's feelings in any way.

Second, listening attentively to the child and giving due care to such questions instead of ignoring and discarding them.

Third, identifying the possible source of such questions so as to do what is necessary to keep the child away from it and protect them from being negatively influenced.

Regarding your question, you should know that it is impermissible for you to respond to your daughter in this regard and fulfill her wish. It is forbidden to look at another person’s ‘Awrah (parts of the body that must be covered in Islam), either directly or in pictures. This is because looking at pictures of the ‘Awrah yields the same evils and provokes the same desire as is the case when looking at it directly. Therefore, we advise you to strive to divert her thoughts from that subject and convince her that there is no benefit in knowing it. You should also diligently remove her from any bad environment or bad company would could lead to her deviation. You should also strive to surround her with righteous friends, keep her busy by doing something beneficial, such as memorizing the Quran and acquiring religious knowledge, and lastly marrying her off whenever possible.

Allah knows best.

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