Consulting Husband Is Not Inferiority or Dependence
Fatwa No: 413134

  • Fatwa Date:18-2-2020 - Jumaadaa Al-Aakhir 24, 1441
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Question

Salam alaikoum
My question is related to if a wife depends on her husband a lot for things is that a bad thing? I realized and other people have noticed that my life is almost always me doing things based on what his opinions are. Even when I want to go back to study after years of giving up my husband supports me but advised me to do as many online classes whenever possible to stay home instead of going so often on campus. I always listen to his advice. Other examples include I almost always go out with him and I feel I am always looking for him when I want to make decisions especially big ones. Some people make me feel that I depend on him too much and think i should be more independent. But i dont feel unhappy living this way. So in short am I too dependent on my husband? If so how can I be a little less dependent on him? I never even think about it. But people think it's my husbands.fault or he.forces me to do things. But I just naturally hear his advice and decisions and dont doubt them

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

A woman needs to consult with her wise husband, whom she believes to be a sincere and honest advisor, and the same is true of the husband with his wise wife. There is no shame in consulting your husband regarding your affairs and acting upon his opinion as long as you believe that this serves your best interest.

Therefore, you should pay no attention to whoever criticizes you in this regard and considers it to be overdependence on your husband or lack of independence on your part.

There is no doubt that consultation is a very important matter, and, therefore, Allah, The Almighty, commanded His Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) to consult with his Companions; He Says (what means): {…and consult them in the matter.} [Quran 3:159]

Through consultation, opinions are integrated and success is granted by the permission of Allah, The Almighty. It was narrated by Al-Bukhaari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad on the authority of Al-Hasan  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him that he said: “By Allah, never do people employ consultation except that they will be guided to the best possible opinion.” Then, he recited the verse (which means): {…and whose affair is [determined by] consultation among themselves.} [Quran 42: 38] [Al-Albaani: Saheeh (authentic)]

We would like to remind you of what has been authentically reported by At-Tabaraani  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him and Al-Bayhaqi  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him in Shu‘ab Al-Eemaan on the authority of Mu‘aath ibn Jabal  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him; that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Resort to secrecy for the fulfillment and success of your needs; verily, whoever is endowed with a blessing is envied.

Therefore, you should disclose your affairs only to those who wish you well.

Allah knows best.

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