Newly Married Wife Finds Mother in-Law Is Very Authoritative and Wants to Live in Separate House
Fatwa No: 446401

Question

Assalamu AlaikumI have been married for 8 months. Before marriage, my husband asked me if I was OK with living with his parents and with living alone with him, and I said yes because I was truly willing to. He then said that he preferred to have our own space so we would move out of his parents' house shortly after getting married. After marriage, I began having issues because my mother in law is very controlling. She tells me when I should call my mom, visit my parents, sleep/wake up, what housechores to do. I do most of the housework

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

It is your right upon your husband to provide you with separate accommodation that has distinct facilities, and you are not obligated to live with his mother or any of his relatives. Your husband must provide it for you even by renting it, and whether or not he has promised you this before marriage.

We advise you to reach an understanding in this matter with your husband.

If his mother’s behavior towards you is as you mentioned, then there is no doubt that she is unfair to you and transgresses the limits with you, so we advise you to be patient with her and be kind to her until Allah makes a way out for you, and you will live in a residence where you will not face any harm. You have to supplicate Allah to facilitate that for you.

We draw your attention to the importance of relations by marriage, which is a blessing that Allah has bestowed on His Servants. Allah Says (what means): {And it is He who has created from water a human being and made him [a relative by] lineage and marriage. And ever is your Lord competent [concerning creation].} [Quran 25:54]

So, you should be grateful for this blessing by establishing good relations with your in-laws, and be keen on having kind and affectionate relations, and not leave an opportunity for Satan to separate the hearts.

For more benefit that a wife is entitled to have a separate accommodation and that she is not obliged to live with her in-laws, please refer to Fataawa 253297, 88654, 384583, 297622, 253297, 189065 and 137042.

Allah knows best.

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