Asalamu AleykumI often speak with myself about islam and praising Allah.So i often tried it in english but my english is bad and i always try to find the correct words. Thats why it happens that kufr words come out of my mouth.Did i apostate? I dont remember very well how the situation was but it was Not like that i wanted to speak those words.But i knew before that there is a high possiblity that i say kufr.And then i speak english and i try to say something and i knew that this is dangerous and then i try and i say kufr.I dont remember well, maybe i wanted to say those words or other things.Second:I often have quran verses in my mind and i recite them in my mind at work.But my tounge is moving to the words but my mouth is closed, so it is not like the moving of the tounge in a silent prayer.So it happen in most of the cases that my tounge is moving to a kufr word like ,,la ilaha" (there is no god) and it stops and it does not continue with ,, illa Allah".Did i apostate?All the time i thought i was a muslim and i prayed and i knew the ruling that if a person says kufr is a kafir.I already said the sahada 3 times but it feels like that it is not accepeted.I am a person who would never do kufr but i dont know how this happened.
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
All of these are nothing but whispers. You are a true Muslim; praise be to Allah. You do not go out of the fold of Islam with these thoughts and illusions. You did not say anything that necessitates disbelief in any case, praise be to Allah.
Therefore, avoid these whispers, ignore them and do not pay any attention to them, as giving in to these whispers will lead you to a great evil.
Allah Knows best.
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