Father Is Reluctant to Buy a Mobile Phone or Wrist Watch For His Son and The Latter Is Depressed Because of This
Fatwa No: 447361

Question

Assalamu Alaikum ; My father is a doctor . He gets a good amount of salary , but he does not like spending money on me happily . After a lot of requests and begging he buys me some clothes and shoes and that too of low quality . He gives me just Rupees 600 ( i.e around 8 dollars) per month as pocket money . I need to cover everything from this small amount of pocket money i get from him like if i need to purchase something juices or some other eatables i need to purchase it from this pocket money which i get. Moreover if i ask him to buy me a mobile phone or a wrist watch , he tells me to save money and purchase that on my own which is impossible for me to buy from this small amount of pocket money that i get from him . When i talked to him about this situation he replied that it is mentioned in Quran somewhere that Parents must not fulfil much needs of their children . I got really shocked after i heared this from him . Is this really mentioned so in Quran ? If anyone knows where its mentioned in Quran please tell me about it . Please tell me what i can do now to solve my problem now . I am so depressed by this that i want to commit suicide , but unfortunately commiting suicide is prohibited in islam.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The father is obligated to spend on his young children who have no money on a reasonable basis, and there is a difference of opinion regarding the ruling on spending on an adult child who is able to earn; the view of the majority of the scholars is that he is not obligated to spend on him.

The evidence from the Quran that it is obligatory to spend on the children in reasonable terms, is the Saying of Allah (which means): {Upon the father is the mothers' provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable.} [Quran 2:233]

Therefore, if your father was referring to this verse and the like regarding the obligation of spending in reasonable terms, which is the sufficient amount in food, drink, clothing and housing, then he is right in that.

Nonetheless, the father should spend on his wife and his children according to what Allah has provided for him, as Allah Say (which means): {Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted - let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge a soul except [according to] what He has given it. Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease.} [Quran 65:7]

If the child needs something from his father that is not obligatory upon him, then the child should be gentle in his request for that from his father. He may seek the help of someone who can convince him, such as the mother, or other relatives whom he might listen to.

You should know that the father is mostly keen on achieving what is in the interest of his son and that he may prevent him from some of his desires – while he loves him – for his child’s benefit so that he does not become accustomed to extravagance and overindulgence, or leading a foolish life for example, or so that he does not grow up being pampered, or grows up in unemployment and remains without earning while he is able to earn, and other good objectives.

If you can find work to suffice yourself and save some money out of it to buy some of your needs, then do so.

Our advice to you is to take it easy and not amplify the issue to the extent of thinking about suicide, as it is a grave and very serious crime that a believer does not think of, let alone committing it. Because if he commits suicide, he moves from an illusive misery to a real misery. Thaabit ibn adh-Dhah-Haak  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Whoever kills himself with an iron weapon, he will be punished with it in Hellfire.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

For more benefit on the prohibition of committing suicide, please refer to Fataawa 84296, 96097, 22853, 377509, 34194 and 223189.

Allah Knows best.

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