Correct Communication between Spouses
Fatwa No: 465145

  • Fatwa Date:17-10-2022 - Rabee' Al-Awwal 22, 1444
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Assalmu alakium . My question is this, is it ok for your husband to constantly threaten divorce? With no intention. Also it ok that I am traveling and he doesn’t speak to me consistently, or says I can only speak to him from this time to that time and I’m not allowed to text after 3 pm ? What if I need to communicate with him and he refuses or when he is angry he ignores me for days and doesn’t communicate at all… what are my rights for communication with my husband


All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The husband should not threaten his wife with divorce, since this contradicts the commandments of the Sharee'ah that instruct him to kindly deal with her, a fact recorded in the Saying of Allah, the Exalted (which means): {And live with them in kindness …} [Quran 4:19] This is a general instruction that includes all good manners. Having communication with the husband in case of travelling and asking about his affairs are from the matters that consolidate marital life and bring about affection.

As far as we know, there is no legal ruling that defines the extent of the communication that should take place between the couple; yet we recommend both to adhere to a middle course on that, meaning that the husband should not totally neglect communication with his wife in a manner that might bring about dissension, nor should the wife exaggerate in requesting her husband to communicate with her, especially if we take into account the fact that the husband might not be in a good mood for this communication, for he might be relaxing or fulfilling the duties of his work, for example.

Marital life is necessary to be based upon dialogue and mutual understanding. Besides, the couple should beware of allowing the Satan to corrupt their life, since the corruption of martial life is one of its most important achievements – a fact recorded in the Hadith narrated by Imam Muslim on the authority of Jaabir ibn ʿAbdullah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him who said that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, “Iblis sets his throne on the water, then sends forth his detachments to tempt mankind, the one who is nearest him in station being the one who can cause the severest temptation. One of them comes and says, ‘I have done such and such,’ but he replies, ‘You have done nothing.’ Then one of them comes and says; ‘I did not leave him till I separated him from his wife.’ He then brings him near to himself saying, ‘What a fine fellow you are!'

Allah knows best.

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