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Reaction to parent's wrongdoing

Question

I am a 21-year-old man in the final year of university. Thanks to Allaah The Almighty I practice the religion properly. The problem is that I have seen my 50-year-old widowed father in a suspicious relationship with the servant. I have suggested that he marry, even the servant, but he refused and said that he does not want to marry anyone after my mother. I am unable to tell him what I have seen in order not to hurt his pride or create a problem in front of my five sisters. Please advise me about what I should do.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

Undoubtedly, your father has committed a grave sin especially for a man of his age. Therefore, he has to repent for what he has done. You have two duties towards your father:

The first is general, namely, to invite him to abide by Sharee'ah (Islamic law) and to repent from all sins in general without specifying this particular sin. You have to be lenient while inviting and advising him, following the example of Prophet Ibraaheem (Abraham)  may  Allaah  exalt  his  mention.

The Quran tells us about his politeness while inviting his father when Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {[Mention] when he said to his father, "O my father, why do you worship that which does not hear and does not see and will not benefit you at all?* O my father, indeed there has come to me of knowledge that which has not come to you, so follow me; I will guide you to an even path.* my father, do not worship Satan. Indeed Satan has ever been, to the Most Merciful, disobedient.* my father, indeed I fear that there will touch you a punishment from the Most Merciful so you would be to Satan a companion [in Hellfire]."} [Quran 19:42-45].

It would be preferable if you introduce this subject to him with kindness, dutifulness, appreciation and commending him for the good characteristics he has. Moreover, it is necessary that you offer this advice in private.

The second is specific to this sin, namely, try to persuade him to marry so that he can protect his chastity, lower his gaze and be safe from the disastrous effects of lust. You must try to change this servant or at least prevent them being alone together, and warn her against obeying him in that.

If all these means fail, you have nothing to do but supplicate Allaah The Almighty to reform him and guide him to adhere to the religion. The Hanafi scholar ‘Alaa' Ad-Deen Al-Hisni may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him stated that if a man sees his parents do an evil act, he has to advise them once; if they do not abandon it, he should not repeat the advice but resort to supplicating and asking forgiveness for them, for Allaah The Exalted is the One who would guide them.

Allaah Knows best.

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