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She Wants to Leave Husband Who Strayed

Question

I am a convert and new wife of 9 months. I was dating a Muslim guy from 14 until 18 and when I converted, we had a Nikah. 8 months later, he cheats on me. I found out and confronted him. He admitted it. He says he's sorry and wants to change, and wants me to help because I am already well established with practicing my Islam. I cannot see him the same as before, much less be intimate like we used to. I find it very uncomfortable in any situation that I have to be with him in person, even in the car. I want to forgive, but I feel like I can't get over it and I am leaning more to the leaving him side. He doesn't practice but says he wants to. I have talked to about 3 Maulanas and they think I should stay cause he says he wants to change. And since I have knowledge that he wants, I should. Also, that by forgiving him, I may get a huge reward from Allah. I can forgive him, but I'm not sure I want to stay. They say I should at least try it, and if he doesn't change, then I should leave. Could you help? I want what's best for my Deen.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

If your husband prays the five obligatory prayers, then we advise you to remain with him and continue counseling him as to help him stop this negligence. You will undoubtedly be rewarded for that (If Allah Wills) because whoever calls for a good act, he is entitled to get the same reward as the person who actually does the act and those who follow him in such a deed.

But if your husband does not pray, you should advise him and stop having sexual relations with him until he prays. In fact, some Muslim scholars believe that the person who gives up praying out of negligence and laziness, is a non-Muslim. There is evidence in the Quran and the Sunnah backing this opinion. (May Allah protect us from disbelief). It is known that it is forbidden for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. Now, praise Allah for guiding you to the right path. Be kind, patient and soft with the sinful people. Call them to enjoin the good and avoid evil in order to help them get out of the bad situation in which they are.

We ask Allah to guide you to doing what He loves and is pleased with.

Allah knows best.

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