Asian Parents Won’t Allow Marriage to White Revert
Fatwa No: 85989

  • Fatwa Date:30-6-2003 - Jumaadaa Al-Oula 1, 1424
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Question

I am a 28-year-old white, English revert. I have found a brother that I wish to marry who is a 30-year-old Asian. We are both in agreement of this, however his family will not agree nor bless this marriage. They want him to marry someone from his own background even if she is not practicing Islam. I believe that his family is more worried about what others will think and have refused to even meet with me. We have both been married before. Will the brother be disobeying his parents if he marries me anyway and, what might the repercussions be of this? Please advise us what we should do.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, know that obeying one's parents is mandatory and disobeying them is forbidden. Allah Says (what means): {Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good.} [Quran 4: 36]

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “The major sins are associating anyone with Allah and disobeying one's parents, …etc.” [Al-Bukhari]

Al-Bukhari and Muslim also reported that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Allah made disobeying one's mother forbidden to you.

On the other hand, the scholars state that it is obligatory to obey one's parents if they order one not to marry a specific woman because obedience to parents is obligatory while there are many other women apart from that one, unless one fears to commit Zina (fornication/adultery) because of his deep affection towards that lady. Among the scholars who stated this, we can name An-Nawawi, Ibn Salah and Ibn Hilal  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them.

However, the parents should realize that Muslims are all brothers in faith and their merit is only through piety.

Allah Says (what means): {The believers are but brothers.} [Quran 49: 10]

Allah Says (what means): {Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you.} [Quran 49: 13]

So, it is better for them to accept that their son marries a Muslim woman, rather than slipping into sin.

Nonetheless, you should also know that men other than this one are numerous. So, it is not necessary to embarrass yourself by marrying this man whose parents disagree with you. This might have a bad impact on your future and that of your children.

Allah knows best.

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