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Fatwa CenterWife seeks divorce because of husband's changing behaviour
Question
I need help. I have been married to my husband for thirteen years. Now he is starting to be mean to me and his kids. He does not spent time with us. On top of it all, he has been accusing me with other men and does not believe me at all. What does Shariah says about his behavior? Can I get a divorce from him?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Life between spouses should be established on love, affection and friendship, and this is one of the purposes of Shariah.
The Shariah ordered the partners to have good relations between them. Allah says: "And live with them honorably" (An-Nisa 4:19)
Allah also says: " And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. (Al-Baqarah 2:228)
Each partner is obliged to fulfill the rights of the other.
There is no doubt that the husband has badly treated his wife and children and has been unjust to them. Worst of all, is that he is accusing his wife with regard to her dignity without any evidence.
The honour and dignity of Muslims in general should be protected, and the right of the wife is more confirmed and predominant, as Allah put a strong covenant between the husband and the wife.
Anyway, we advise you, dear sister, to be frank with your husband and stay away from what causes his anger.
You have to be keen on doing what will make him be affectionate to you, like having good relationships with him, beautifying yourself to him, speaking to him in soft manner and so on. Remind him of the Blessing of Allah on both of you, as He blessed you with children, and inform him that the poor relations that prevails between you will have a bad effect on your children.
You have to be patient about the harm he is causing you for the sake of the children.
However, if you no longer bear the matter, then take the issue to the Islamic centers in your country which could propose to your husband to keep you on reasonable basis or to release you in kindness.
Allah knows best.
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