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Fatwa CenterClaims her husband is selfish and unreasonable
Question
I have been married for three years. My husband is an Egyptian I am an American Egyptian. My problem is my husband is very money tight (Bakeel). When we go out he does not want to pay for anything if I want to get anything he stands far away. my parents went to Egypt and my husband is finishing his last year in his medical residence he is making 60,ooo dollars a year he is staying in New York and will be coming this year back to were I live in Maryland. As I was saying my parents went to Egypt and I was on my own. I was not left any money I told him I needed him to leave me money or put my name in his account he told me no so I told him I was going to embrace him and tell my uncles whom live near by. After I said that he said in a very angry way fine. We have a baby boy it comes winter I am to get him close I used his card and he said why all that. I am a simple person but I keep passing all of this. My health went very bad sick week and deeply depressed. Last what happened my mom told him the other day take the girl out maybe she can get out of her depression so we went out he said were do you want to go I told him lets go eat out foul and Falafil in George town that in Washington DC about 45min away so we were driving and we reached George town area it is a two way street I told my husband there is the store he told me he will turn around and park on the other side we went on the other side and we passed the store and we went home! At Fajr I told my parents. They had a talk with him and It was my turn now I said all in me. Sir this man is very selfish and cares only of himself. I will tell you a few points I made with him.
1) His father was a very sick man when my parents were in Egypt they told me that his dad wanted him to come he told me he is not that bad two weeks later his father passed away. I told him this he has no feeling.
2) His son had a temperature 103 and I took him to the hospital I called him and told him that so far everything is alright. He did not call for 24hr.
I told him all this and more he said he did not do wrong when it came to taking me out. I told him we will separate and when you now all you did wrong then we can talk.
This is as much as I can write. After a day later my health improved. I want to now what is the saying in people like this. Please help.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
The Islamic jurisprudence has made it an obligation on the husband to spend on his wife within reasonable terms. The circumstances of each spouse should be taken into account in this regard. Moreover, the Islamic jurisprudence has permitted the wife to take from her husband's money what would suffice her needs without his knowledge. Al-Bukhari 
reported that Hind Bint 'Utbah 
said: "O Prophet of Allaah! Abu Sufyaan is a tight man, and does not give to me or my children money, except what I take without his knowledge." So the Prophet told her: "Take what will suffice you and your children within reasonable terms."
Therefore, if your husband does not spend on you in the same manner a husband like him spends on a wife like you in the country where you live, then he is negligent in something that is an obligation on him. In such a case, it is more appropriate for you to be patient with him and advise him. The Prophet said: "The essence of religion is (offering) advice." [Muslim]
Therefore, you should seek the help of whoever could remind him of his obligation and whoever could influence him, and it is permissible for you to take from his money what is necessary for you and your children.
However, you are obliged to return to your husband's home and continue advising him, as there is a benefit in a stable marriage to raise children in a best manner. If there are disputes and separation, the children could be lost.
Finally, if he insists on not spending on you as he is religiously required to do, then you can take your case to an Islamic court or any organization that can act instead of an Islamic court so that they would oblige him to spend on you or oblige him to divorce you.
Allaah Knows best.
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