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Fatwa CenterWants to make peace with his deceased father who brutally abused him as a child
Question
When I was a child, I was being brutally abused (physically). For no apparent reason by my father. A few years ago he was assassinated and I have not made peace with him up to now. What is your advice, please notify me.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
There is no doubt that a father beating his son without any reason is an injustice However, the son should not be undutiful to his father or to cut relations with him, or to mistreat him. Allaah, the Most-High ordained the Muslims to be kind and dutiful to their parents even if they are non-Muslims. Allaah says (which means): {And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavour to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return. And I will inform you about what you used to do.}[29:8].
One of the ways of being kind and dutiful to parents after their death is to supplicate to Allaah to forgive them and have mercy on them if they died as Muslims. It is reported that a man asked the Prophet 
: "Is there any act of kindness that I could offer to my parents and be dutiful to them after their death? The Prophet said: "Yes. You can supplicate for them, seek forgiveness for them, fulfil their will (or contract), and keep ties with the kinship [for relatives] that they used to keep ties with, and be generous to [and honour] their friends." [Abu Daawood, Ibn Maajah and Ibn Hibbaan]
Indeed Allaah has praised the people who forgive others as He says (which means): {…, and who pardon men; verily, Allaah loves the good doers.}[3:134]. In another verse, Allaah ordered us to forgive and reconcile as He says (which means): {But forgive and overlook…}[2:109]. So if forgiving other people is praised and ordained, then forgiving one's parents comes first, as their right and status on their children are great. Therefore, we ask you to supplicate to Allaah to forgive your father and to have mercy on him, and we advise you to forgive him for his misconduct; may Allaah join you with him in
Allaah knows best.
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