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Husband is only aroused by wife talking about having anal sex

Question

I am so embarrassed to talk about this, I have been married for 3 years, 2 kids, my husband is really a good man but during sex, the only way to get him aroused, is to make me talk about having anal sex with me. He asks my say thing about that, I feel uncomfortable and dirty, and cry a lot afterwards. I think this is Haraam, but he thinks that as long as we did not have anal sex, it is Ok to talk about having it. What should I, and how to convince him to stop it?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

It is forbidden to have anal sex with one's wife, and the one who does so is cursed. The prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "Allaah cursed the husband who has sex with his wife in her anus." [Abu Daawood] So, thinking about anal sex when having intercourse, or talking about it is forbidden as it is a means which leads a person to be tempted by it and finally being resolved to doing it.

Therefore, you should advise your husband in this regard in a good manner and soft words as he can arouse his sexual desires in permissible ways other than thinking about anal sex, like foreplay and so forth.

Allaah Know best.

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