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Regrets marrying a new Muslim woman

Question

I met a lady who is new to Islam through the Internet. After few months of discussions over the net, I visited her mosque in a different town other than mine. We eventually got married. I stayed with her for few days and we have slept together. I then left her town and she is supposed to join me after being done with her school. I felt that I made a fast decision, especially when I got to know her more. I want to have a divorce. If I am going to pay her the deferred amount of Sadaqah that we agreed on, in full, is it permitted for me to divorce her?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

Divorce is allowed especially if there is a necessity for it, and it is disliked if there is no necessity for it. So if this woman is religious with a good moral character, then it is more appropriate to keep her as your wife, especially as you mentioned that she is a new Muslim. Therefore, if you divorce her, this could lead her to doubt her religion and possibly apostate. It might be that you will be rewarded for keeping her and being kind to her, and Allaah will bless your marriage to her and grant you righteous children.

However, if you consider that divorcing her is better for you, then you may do so. The divorce will be valid even if you did not pay the full dowry, but if the time of the delayed dowry is not yet due and you pay it for her when divorcing her, then this would be better.

Finally, the following matters should be mentioned:

1. Chatting with marriageable women through the net or otherwise is forbidden as it is a means of temptation.

2. You should not hasten to divorce. You should perform Istikhaarah prayer and seek advice.

3. There are some conditions for the validity of marriage, the most important of which are the presence and consent of the guardian of the bride and the presence of two witnesses. So if you married this woman without a guardian or without witnesses then this marriage is void and it should be nullified. If you had any children with her, they will be traced back to you if when you married her you believed that your marriage to her was valid. Even when the marriage is void, the bride deserves the full dowry if her husband consummated the marriage with her. Finally, it should be noted that if this woman had no Muslim guardian and it was one of the Muslim brothers who acted as her guardian, the marriage is correct.

Allaah Knows best.

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