Search In Fatwa

Her parents favour her eldest brother and sister

Question

I live in a house hold with ten family members. I have a 21 year old brother and he used to smoke. My mother always treats him like a baby. My father on the other hand spoils my sister and if she got mad he would flip the whole world just for her. I'm not saying this because I am jealousy but because my parents are so interested in my bigger sibling that they don't even help me or ever ask what's wrong. Having ten people in a family sounds like a lot but with a father and mother like mine it feels like there's only 4 people in the family. I ask Allaah to help me and guide me to the right path. Thank you for reading my concern and I hope to receive your Naseeha.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

There is no doubt that the parents should be just in treating their children kindly, and this is an incentive in spreading affection and love between them. When the parents are not just between their children, this causes hatred between them and causes them to hate their parents as well. the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "Fear Allaah and be just between your children." [Al-Bukhari] Nonetheless, it should be noted that you feeling that your parents are not just between their children, could only be your impression and a feeling and that the reality is not so. In principle the father loves all his children and is affectionate towards them all and is keen to fulfill their interests and benefits. If other than this happens, then there must be a reason for it, and it might be that this is not intended. However, if we presume that the situation of your parents with you is as you mentioned, then they are wrong, and we advise you to be patient with them. Patience is one of the greatest inward acts and there is much good in it. Allaah Says (what means): {Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account [i.e. limit]}[Quran 39:10]. Their conduct should not lead you to cut relations with them; this is something you should be very careful about. You should invoke Allaah earnestly to rectify their affairs, and you should advise them in a good manner. There is no harm also in seeking the help of pious and righteous people who may influence them. It might be that Allaah will enable them to influence your parents, and much good will be achieved in this.

Finally, we ask Allaah to help you and make a way out to your difficulty.

Allaah Knows best.

Related Fatwa