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Fatwa CenterHis parents interfere in his life and resent his actions
Question
My parents interfere in my life whether if it is a small thing or a big thing. It is as if they want to live my life for me. All Praise to Allaah, I am a good Muslim and I never show any disrespect towards my parents and above all I honor them and never show any hatred towards them and I listen to them in patience even what they say most of the time causes me emotional, mentally and physical distress. The question is how can I deal with this situation also they keep on compare me to another people which causes me more distress. And when I try being like the people they compare they still aren't happy. I listened to them without disobeying them and that brought disastrous results. It is like I am in catch 22. They keep on saying we raised, feed you and educated you and now its time to be independent. Now I'm independent and then they tell me oh come live with us you can't be independent and all this stuff. Then I ask them kindly what do you want from me exactly, they reply we want nothing in a very angry tone. So I seek your advise in this matter. I know very well Islam teaches to be kind to one's parents but I'm 30 years old and I want to live my life how I want to. Please be aware that I pray 5 times a day and fast Mondays and Thursdays. And I a very observant Muslim. So what is your advice in the matters I mention?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Indeed you did well by being patient through the harm of your parents, and for not behaving in a manner which could harm them. This is in fact the behaviour of a Muslim who knows the status and the rights of his parents on him. In this regard please refer to Fatwa 89078.
You should know that as long as the son is able to be obedient to his parents in permissible things, he is obliged to do so. Pleasing the parents is a reason of attaining the Love of Allaah and a means of entering 
said: "The pleasure of Allaah is attained by pleasing parents, and the wrath of Allaah is ensued by angering parents." [At-Tirmithi] In this regard, please refer to Fatwa 84942.
The son is obliged to obey his parents if they prevent him from living in a separate accommodation and order him to live with them as long as there is no religious reason for him to refuse, like being harmed by living with them, as in such a case, he is permitted to live in a separate accommodation. He should look for an accommodation which is closer to them so that he may visit them frequently and care for them. In all cases, he should try to please them.
Finally, it should be noted that one should supplicate to Allaah to make his parents be pleased with him, and enable him to be kind and dutiful to them. Also, the parents should help their son achieve the means of his happiness and tranquillity and not obstruct him in doing so.
Allaah Knows best.
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