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Wants to separate from his irresponsible parents

Question

I have a question regarding my parents. I am 27 years old and I stay with my parents. My parents have no love for each other and they often say bad about each other to us and my mother was a Christian before how converted to Islam but she has no love for us and only has love for money. My parents are not taking any responsibility being a parent. I know I am 27 years old but whatever they do turns bad. I was married 2 years back and the girl was chosen by my mother and tragically I ended up with divorce because of that girl belief in black magic and Shirk. I am very much tensed and in trouble since. I have been facing problems in my job, I have been terminated and also most with car accidents, today also I met with an accident. I want to leave my parents and stay separate far from them. I don't know what Allaah has planned for me. Can you please advise me what to do? I am fed up of life, I just started my life which ended in a big disaster, I always think about my divorce and I am unable to meet my friends and other people. I want to leave my parents and stay somewhere separate. I think that I am being affected by black magic. Please advise.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

First of all, you should take it easy and not burden yourself with more than what you can bear. You should know that afflictions and trials are one of the ways of Allaah on this earth. However, a Muslim should be patient over the afflictions and trials which befall him, and by doing so, he gets much of the good of this world and the Hereafter. If anyone deserved to be free from such afflictions and tribulations, it would have been the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ). On the contrary, he was severely afflicted and he persevered so Allaah raised his status and degree.

Moreover, being discontent neither yields desirable results, nor does it repel any harm; the only thing it does is cause worries and regrets. Therefore, we advise you to invoke Allaah earnestly and mention Him as much as possible and perform righteous deeds so that your soul will be content and so that you forget the troubles and hardships that you have gone through. Allaah Says (what means): {Is not He (better than your gods) Who responds to the distressed one, when he calls Him, and Who removes the evil, and makes you inheritors of the earth, generations after generations. Is there any ilaah (god) with Allaah?}[Quran 27:62]. In this regard please refer to Fatwa 87532 about the excellence of being patient when tried.

However, if you are pretty sure that magic or the like is done to you, then you may seek Ruqyah with the Quran and legislated mention of Allaah and Prophetic supplications, and it is better if you perform Ruqyah by yourself but there is no harm to seek the help of people who are steadfast on the religion of Allaah and are on a correct belief but you should not go to magicians, fortune-tellers and soothsayers. Please refer to Fataawa 88904 and 88660 on how to treat magic.

Furthermore, you should know that the status of the parents is great as Allaah linked His Right to their right. Allaah Says (what means): {And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment.}[Quran 17:23]. Thus, it is an obligation to be kind and dutiful to them and not cut relations with them even if they mistreat you, as they are your gate to paradise. As long as one is able to be patient with them, he should do so. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "The parent is the middle door of Paradise. Lose that door if you wish or preserve it." [At-Tirmithi] As regards living in a separate accommodation, there is no harm in this as long as this does not result in the destruction of your parents.

Finally, we advise you to continue your life as if nothing had happened and do not pay attention to the whispers of the devil about how people look at you or think about you, as these are only whispers of the devil who wants to prevent you from being active; these matters might not even exist in the minds of the people at all.

Allaah Knows best.

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