one relative of mine got married last year. her married life was full of tension since day one. then after 8 months of marriage the husband decided to go out of the country for employment. not after 3 months of stay outside suddenly one day he called his wife and said i am divorcing you. same time he called the girls father and also his father and told them the same that he has finished of the relation with his wife and also informed that the legal papers will be handed over to girls father in 2 days. next day the girl's sister and her husband, who live in the same place as that of the boy, met him and he conveyed the same to them also that the relationship is over without giving any reason. when the girl was contacted she said that he had been continously threatning her with divorce since their marriage and also physicialy and mentally abused her since the marriage. Also he has never supported her financially and in the last week of ramadhan divorced her via telephone. after a few days the boy changed his statement and said that he had never divorced her nor told anybody else about it and he wants to continue the relation. the girl is saying that as she has been divorced by hem so as per the religion the boy is now a stranger for her and thus any relation with him is haram . now we also have come to know that the boy is having relations with other girls also but we have no proof for that. further the boy had also conveyed to a friend that he had divorced her but it was only a threatning and also had conveyed that he will hang this matter for as long as possible.now my question is how to proceed with divorce proceedings as the boy has changed his stand. the witnesses for this matter is the girl herself, her father, her sister, her sister's husband and a friend.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

First of all, it should be mentioned that divorce is in the hands of the husband and in principle the bond of marriage is in his hands and it is only him who can divorce, and no divorce takes place unless he utters it. The rule (when two persons argue without any of them having an evidence), is that the statement which should be taken into account is the statement of the one who refers the issue to its principle (marriage). Ibn Qudaamah said: "If a wife claims that her husband divorced her and he denies it, then it is his statement which should be taken into account, and in principle the bond of marriage is still ongoing and there is no divorce, unless she has evidence proving her claim and provides two trustworthy witnesses to testify to its effect."

However, if it is confirmed to the wife that her husband divorced her, and it is an irrevocable divorce, then it is not permissible for her to let him enjoy her, rather she should abstain from him and run away if she can. Ibn Qudaamah said: "This is the view of the majority of the scholars …because she knows that she became like any other marriageable woman to him and she is forbidden for him, so it is an obligation on her to refrain and run away from him like any other marriageable woman."

However, if the divorce is revocable, she should not prevent him from enjoying her because it is probable that he is seriously taking her back; as stated by Ad-Dardeer .

When a husband says to his wife "I will divorce you", or "I am divorcing you", this is a promise of divorce and it is not considered a divorce as clarified in Fatwa 92383. Similarly, the expression "the relation between us is finished" does not lead to divorce unless the husband intended it, as it is one of the metaphors of divorce. Therefore, it is only the husband who can determine what he meant by these expressions.

Since such matters are matters of disputes and disagreements, and a person would need more investigation, it is more appropriate to take the case to an Islamic court or any institution that may serve as such in non-Muslim countries, like Islamic centres and the like.

Finally, the following matters should be noted:

1- If reconciliation is possible, then one should endeavour to achieve it, Allaah Says (what means): {…and making peace is better.}[Quran 4:128]. Allaah also Says (what means): {If they both desire reconciliation, Allaah will cause it between them.}[Quran 4:35].

2- If a woman is harmed by staying with her husband, she has the right to ask for divorce. If he divorces her, all perfect praise be to Allaah, otherwise she may take her matter to an Islamic court and the like [as we previously mentioned] so that they would remove the harm from her. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 82847.

3- It is not permissible to accuse a person of committing fornication or adultery or that he has illegal relationships without clear evidence. Even if this is confirmed about the husband, it is not a reason by itself for the judge to divorce her from him.

Allaah Knows best.