I am a muslimah who is in need of help.My husband is a nice guy but lacks true sprit of islam he use to beat me badly even when I was newly married then one day he promised he wont and had stopped but often he picks his hand as if to beat but I stop himNow yesterday he beat me very badly onmy eye and neck.I am scared as I am presently away from my home land.Now I dont feel like staying with him from inside because as now19 years of marriage he has not changed.Every time I think Ishould change may be become more good so that he will stop In the way to becomming good and better I have even started doing my islamic studies taleem al quran course am alhamdulillah on 12th para.I have even joined the tajweed classes, Ihelp my children in studies Alhamdulillah they stand 1st in class and also help them in islamic studies Yesterday he was very tired and slept in his mothers room I finished all my night chores till then he hadslept for quite some time ,I asked him to come to my room he got up but ignored then again after some time I got told him to come to our room again he ignored then again after some time I called him to our room this time again he ignored I felt very bad I sad I would like to go to my mother tomorrow then he got up.I was very upset till then so now I went and slept with my children.Morning at fajr after the prayer I asked him why he did lke this the conversation became hot before only I had told him not to sleep in his mothers room when he is so much sleepy.He pretended to sleep I turned him to listen to what I was saying .he got up and started to beat me very badly ,he hit me on my eye and neck. Please help me now as I dont want to stay with him.what is the islamic ruling conserned to this .whether I am wrong or he is wrong .If I am wrong what I should dofor apology.If he is wrong what he should for apology .
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we ask Allaah to reward you for being keen on memorizing the Quran, studying religious studies and teaching and cultivating your children.
If it is true that your husband beats you severely then he is wrong and undermines the marital relationship between you and him. You did well by being patient with him and we advise you to counsel him in a good manner while supplicating Allaah earnestly to turn him into a righteous man, as Allaah may enable him to this effect especially that you mentioned that he is a good man. You may also seek the help of pious and righteous people to reconcile between you.
If your husband continues to beat you without a sound religious reason and in a way which is not legislated, then you have the right to ask for divorce. However, you should not hasten to do so unless you balance between the benefit of divorce and the benefit of staying with him.
As regards your question whether you were wrong or him, then if you refer to preventing him from spending the night in the room of his mother, then the answer is that the jurists stated that the husband is obliged to spend one night in every four nights with his wife, and he has the right to stay away from her during the other nights. Therefore, you should know that if you wanted to prevent him from something which he is entitled to, then you were wrong, so you should apologize to him in a nice way.
Finally, we advise the husband to spend the night with his wife in her room every night if there is no preponderant benefit for him to spend the night in other rooms.
For more benefit on the rights between the spouses, please refer to Fatwa 85308.Allaah Knows best.
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