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Her brother-in-law assaulted her and her husband does not care for her

Question

i am married to my husband&from day one i never got my rights,i even had kids even then i suffered alot.my husband would come&go&sweet talk me&sometime i would get angry but not alway.for days he not came around&there was no foods in the house&it been nearly 4 weeks like this.so i thought if he not going to do it i better get the key of from him&get the shopping done,i went to see my husband&he at his home with the other wife she screaming&shouting as i a wife i am not even allowed2talk2my husband/see.it been like this so he told me she does not live her&he does not have the key becuase taken of from him i was so angry,it my car, fool i am,so i left when the next day&thought this time i will be able to talk to him but no she was there again, same things i couldnt talk to my husband. then his brother turn up&threat me&punch my arm my husband told me to leave i left i went after one day&this time before my husband could come2 the door, his brother turn up&push me&punch my arm&push my kids pram.he ran after me&push into the door the glass broken instead looking at my hand if okay he laugh&smiled to that point i felt this was all planned, they called the police and i was told to leave.i left so upset my arm was sored my husband did not care about anything he change so quickly i am fed up i swear by ALLAH i never got any right is it okay for husband to call his wife to bed but a wife get treated like shit.i was upset&his bro&my husband wife all planned this no wonder my husband didnt even care we got nothing at home even our shopiing come after so many weeks.they arrested his bro i could not believe it someone work in the mosque can behave like this.my husband went to police he signed a statament that he does not want anything to do with me/kids&we not allowd2 call him/contact him&this stament will last for a whole year, does this mean i got my first divorce.my friend said living like this is harm.everything is harm in life. it been3 days the kids been asking for dad

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The husband is obligated to have good marital relations with his wife as we clarified in Fataawa 88304 and 86618. He is also obligated to be just between his two wives in regard to staying overnight with them and spending on them as we clarified in Fatwa 82124.

Also, he is not permitted to prevent you from taking the car since it is yours. In any case, if what you mentioned about your husband is correct that he is not fulfilling your rights, like staying overnight with you and the like, then he is unjust and neglectful. So, we advise you to admonish him and remind him to fear Allaah in his wife and children. If his situation gets better, praise be to Allaah, but if the situation persists, you may take the matter to one of the Islamic Centers in your country so that they would remove the harm off you, either by rectifying him or by divorcing you from him.

Furthermore, a husband should not mistreat his wife and then call her to bed. ‘Abdullaah Ibn Zam’ah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "None of you should flog his wife as if he flogs a slave, and then have sexual intercourse with her at the end of the day." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Ibn Hajar  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said: “In the same context, it is most unlikely to happen to a sound man that he would violently beat his wife and then he would have sexual intercourse with her during the rest of the day or night.” However, this Hadeeth does not mean that the wife is permitted to deny her husband his right in bed or else if he mistreats her; rather, she should answer his request.

As regards divorce, it does not take place unless the husband initiates it, and your separation without divorce is not considered a divorce; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 82732.

Besides, your husband is not permitted to act according to the police statement which implies that he has nothing to do with his wife and children. Rather, he is responsible for his children and he is also responsible for you as long as you are his wife, and it is confirmed that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "and the man is a guardian of his family and will be questioned about the people under his guardianship." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) also said: “It is enough a sin for a person not to provide means of sustenance to those whom he is obliged to support. [Ahmad and Abu Daawood]

In addition to this, if what you mentioned about your brother-in-law is confirmed, that he mistreats you, then he is wrong as his behaviour has nothing to do with religion or real manliness.

Allaah Knows best.

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