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Fatwa CenterHer husband is upset because of her problems with others
Question
Bismillaah Assalaamu Alaikum Warahamatuhlahi Wabarakatuh! My husband is very upset with me about always having 'problems' with others over the years. These problems often consist of me being correct in some kind of disagreement according to my husband but he is annoyed that I have these 'problems' in the first place. Is it really rare for people to have some kind of disagreement with someone else a few times a year? How in the world do I live my life in such a way that none ever complain about me or disagree with me? Is that even possible?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Man’s life is hardly free from problems that may happen between him and other people, that is because man is sociable by nature and needs to socialize with others. However, people differ in their morals and their way of dealing (with others). There are some people who are rough and harsh and others who are good-hearted and kind, so Allaah has made some of them a trial for others; Allaah Says (what means): {And We have made some of you [people] as trial for others - will you have patience? And ever is your Lord, All-Seer (of everything).}[Quran 25:20]
There are some matters that may help a person to avoid these problems, or reduce their occurrence, among which are the following:
1- A Muslim should be keen on dealing with people in a good manner, and he should not repel a bad thing with a bad thing; rather, he should forgive and be patient; Allaah Says (what means): {Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allaah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily, he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend. But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one having a great portion [of good].}[Quran 41:34] A Muslim should remember the importance and excellence of having good morals, and this will help him be patient and deal with people with good manners. Abu Umaamah 
narrated that the Prophet said: "I guarantee a house at the highest part of Paradise to whoever has a good moral character." [Abu Daawood] For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 88764 and 84351.
2- Reducing mixing with people as much as possible, especially if a Muslim knows that he gets angry very quickly and he cannot bear the harm of others.
As regards your husband, we advise him to avoid getting angry as this may lead to unpleasant consequences. Abu Hurayrah narrated that a man asked the Prophet : “Please, advise me!” The Prophet said: ''Do not become angry.” The man asked the same question again many times and the Prophet replied in the same manner: ''Do not become angry.” [Al-Bukhari]
Therefore, your husband should advise you, remind you of Allaah and prevent you from being unjust and from transgressing against other people if you are wrong, and he should support you if you are wronged. Anas narrated that the Prophet said: “Support your brother regardless of whether he is the oppressor or the oppressed.” They said: “O, Prophet of Allaah: It is all right to support him if he is oppressed, but how should we support him if he is an oppressor?” Thereupon, the Prophet said: ''By preventing him from oppressing others.” [Al-Bukhari]
Allaah Knows best.
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