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Fatwa CenterShe cannot stand having sex with her alcoholic husband
Question
I was married for ten yrs with 2kids.my problem is my husband drinks alcohol every night.does not pray, comes home as late as one o'clock in the morning. He will ask me to submit to his sexual demands of which if I say no will cost me a curse and all the degrading words in the book but will apologize the next morning.this is every night and am tired of this cycle. I have lost my appetite for sex.i can't stand the looks on his face, the smell of alcohol,his words. And now am tired of this. He is a good person to my kids but to me every conversation starts with an urgument and end with one,I have lost respect for him and refused to submit to sex. My question is will I be cursed by the angels. How can I have sex with somebody who is drank all night long. Are men not suppose to beautify themselves for their wive too. Am I sinning by staying with him?.what is Islam view on this. Pls don't ask me to submit.coz I cant fake my emotion. Am sexually,emotionally bankrupt . Is divorce a solution?. Am starting to admire other men psychologically . Lol.i have begged him time without number to stop drinking, spent time with us but to no avail.i even ask him not to stop immediatly but slowly but to show progress nothing.he says he will stop it but doesnt. What can I do?.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
As long as a wife is still married to her husband who spends on her within reasonable terms, she is not permitted to refuse to share the bed with him without a Sharee’ah-based reason like sickness, menses or harm due to having sexual intercourse and the like. As regards the husband committing sins, even if these were major sins like consuming intoxicants, then this does not permit the wife to refuse to share the bed with her husband as we clarified in Fataawa 94227 and 88547.
However, if the wife is very harmed by the smell of alcohol on the breath of her husband, then she is permitted to refuse his call to bed.
On the other hand, the wife has the right to ask for divorce if it is confirmed that her husband is wicked and dissolute. As regards abandoning the prayer, then this is a great calamity. If a person abandons the prayer because of not believing in its obligation, then this is an act that takes a person out of the fold of Islam and this invalidates the marriage contract. Some scholars are even of the view that if one abandons the prayer out of laziness, the same ruling applies to him.
Hence, we advise you to do your best to admonish your husband and frighten him of the danger of abandoning the prayer and consuming intoxicants, and you should help him to repent and become righteous. If he repents and becomes righteous, then this is good and you will get a great reward – Allaah willing. But if he persists in abandoning the prayer and consuming intoxicants, you should ask him for divorce. If he refuses to grant you divorce, then you may ask for Khul’, even in return for compensation in order to get rid of him and Allaah will compensate you with much goodness.
Allaah Knows best.
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