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Her husband has attention deficit disorder

Question

Assalamualikum I have been married one year.My husband has not been able to financially provide for me. He also is not able to take care of himself and his health and look after me. He is happy with me but I was never finding sakinah in the marriage. I started researching on the internet and found that he has Attention defecit disorder. I asked a local muslim psychologist for help and she said the only way is to get a diagnosis and get treatment (which involves medication and life style changes). It is very hard for me as I give him all his rights 100% and my husband is not able to do his duty towards me. At times it is very difficult and it is effecting my health and im starting to feel depressed. I dont know how to encourage him to get treatment. I dont want to get a divorce because he is God fearing but if he does not get treatment he will not be able to look after me. Please advise jazakallahukhairan

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we ask Allaah, the Most High, to give you a way out of your distress and provide for your husband, set him right and rid him of every harm. The best thing we can advise you to do is to be patient and pray to Allaah, as patience and prayer are the weapons of the believer at times of difficulties.

For benefit on the virtue of patience, please refer to Fatwa 83577, and to Fataawa 88514 and 92363 on the virtues of supplication.

Seeking treatment is permissible and it is a form of utilizing permissible means. Usaamah ibn Shareek  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Bedouins asked (the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention )): “O Messenger of Allaah, shall we not seek treatment?” The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) replied: "Yes, O slaves of Allaah, seek treatment as Allaah has not sent down a disease except that He has sent down a cure for it except old age.” [Abu Daawood and At-Tirmithi]

If your husband refuses the idea of treatment, then you should try to find out the reasons and try to find a solution for each reason. You should try to convince him yourself, and if he is not convinced, then you should try to convince him through those of his relatives and friends whom he respects and it is expected that he will listen to, in order for them to explain to him the importance of treatment and that it may be a means for his happiness and the happiness of his wife.

May Allaah make this easy by His Grace.

Allaah Knows best.

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