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Marriage not consummated for five years is still valid

Question

Asalamualaikum I have been married for 5years now..and my wedding has not been consummated.. At first, I thought someone cast nazar(evil eye) on me and my husband as I use to have constant dream that I am been attacked.. Then started having issues with mother in law...she was over possessive of her son and so jealous of me that I was so affected n crying all the time..a distance was created between me n my husband..we would argue all the time..my husband would insult me in front of his mum,his family member... He was making a big deal of petty things..even shout at me in front of my mum n brother...now I don't have any feelings in my heart for him..he says that he loves me a lot but he never stand by my side..his mum said I look like a widow,he says to me that its ok for her to say this...we still argue but not as much as before but I cry a lot sometimes when I think about how they treated me,I even considered getting counselling. Is possible to file a Islamic khula?? I can't imagine living my life with a family who treated me so bad...n am alone living with them abroad..is our nikah valid since our marriage is not consummated still after 5years. Thank u Allah hafiz

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His Slave and Messenger.

First of all, you should know that what you mentioned does not affect the validity of the marriage contract, so you are still in marriage bond with your husband until divorce or Khul' takes place.

In principle, it is not permissible for a wife to ask her husband for Khul’ without a sound reason. Thawbaan  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him said that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Those who seek Khul’ are the hypocrites.” [At-Tirmithi]

If you are harmed by your husband and fear neglecting his rights, then you have the right to ask him for Khul’ in return for compensation that you pay to him. For more benefit on the rulings of Khul’, please refer to Fatwa 89039.

However, we do not advise you to rush to ask for Khul’ until you make sure that this is the best solution for you. Since that man expressed his love for you, you should try to reach a mutual understanding with him so that you can solve your problems. It should be noted that the wife has the right to be in a separate accommodation away from the husband's family. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84608.

If you do not reach a solution, and after having waited and consulted others and performed the Istikhaarah prayer, you believe that it is most likely that the best solution is separation, then it is permissible for you to ask for Khul’, as divorce before the consummation of the marriage is better than divorce after its consummation.

Finally, if you have probable cause to believe that you are affected by an evil eye or magic or the like, then you should both perform the Islamic Ruqyah and ask Allaah to heal you. For more benefit on how to treat evil eye and envy, please refer to Fataawa 89017, 83898.

Allaah Knows best.

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