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Fatwa CenterFather continually refuses eligible suitors for his daughter
Question
My question is regarding my father. My father doesn't Want to get me married off.I m 30 year old Muslim girl living in India.He has been rejecting suitable proposals since 8 years. My mother and brother had arguments with him but no use.He said he will not do it again bt a lot of people informed my brother that he again ignored proposal. Earlier my father used to say that he had no money to spend on my marriage, my brother is younger then so I took up a job.Now I have saved money for my marriage. Whenever people come home with proposal, he misbehavs with them.I am afraid that my marriageable age wil pass soon.My father smiles and laugh on this situation. What is ruling on this type of father?I find difficult to respect him anymore.Am I still under obligation to obey him as he is trying to destroy my life and depriving me from the right of marriage which Allah has given me?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
If your account is correct, then your father is wronging himself and wronging you. In general, a father is compassionate towards his daughter, and not harsh towards her and not standing against her best interest.
Your father does not have the right to refuse the marriage proposals of eligible suitors without valid reason. Such an unjust attitude disqualifies him as your Wali (legal guardian). When a woman's legal guardian prevents her from marrying a suitable man, the scholars have held that her guardianship is transferred to the next in line for guardianship among her male relatives; otherwise, the guardianship transfers to the Muslim leader or his deputy, who assumes his responsibilities in non-Muslim countries, who may marry her off instead as advised by other scholars.
Hence, you may refer your case to the concerned authorities responsible for addressing Muslims' affairs and disputes. Your marriage without his consent in such a case does not constitute undutifulness towards him. Please refer to Fatwa 86982.
However, before referring the case to a legitimate Islamic court or the concerned authorities, you are advised to seek the help of those who are close to your father to convince him to change his unjust attitude. You should also supplicate Allaah frequently to ease matters for you and relieve your distress.
Needless to say, children are enjoined to be dutiful towards their father even if he wrongs them. It is incumbent on them to be dutiful towards him no matter what he does. Please refer to Fatwa 87019.
It should also be noted that the Indian custom that the bride pays a dower to the groom is incorrect. In addition to being contrary to the Islamic religious law, this incorrect custom may cause such evils as fathers refusing to give their daughters in marriage. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85873.
Allaah Knows best.
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