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Husband said 'yes' after wife set condition for divorce

Question

Assalamualakum,A while back, my wife and I were going through some very bad times. In one conversation she she said to me "If you do take a second look at a woman, then its 3 talaaks, OK?" I had no intention of divorce, but reluctantly answered "yes". I had effectively lied to my wife, and only answered yes to give her assurance that I would not look at women, and I immediately made dua to Allah to correct my intention. Since then on 2 occassions I had taken a second look.Is our marriage still valid?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

Your responding to your wife with "yes" is an acknowledgement on your part of whatever her statement implies. It is the same as if you uttered the statement yourself. So the divorce was made conditional on looking at women a second time. The jurists held different views about what happens when the husband makes the divorce conditional on something and that thing takes place. The majority of the scholars maintained that the divorce takes effect even if the husband did not intend to divorce his wife at the time. Ibn Taymiyyah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him on the other hand, held that the divorce does not take effect but the husband is required to offer the expiation for breaking an oath. Likewise, the majority of scholars held that the triple divorce uttered in one instance counts as three occurrences of divorce, which means that it is irrevocable (with major separation), whereas Ibn Taymiyyah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him maintained that it counts as one divorce only. The view adopted on Islamweb is that of the majority of scholars on both issues. Accordingly, your wife has been irrevocably divorced and has become unlawful to you until she marries another man, and then if he willingly divorces her or dies, you may remarry her. Allaah The Exalted says (what means): {And if he has divorced her (for the third time), then she is not lawful to him afterward until (after) she marries a husband other than him. And if the latter husband divorces her (or dies), there is no blame upon the woman and her former husband for returning to each other if they think that they can keep (within) the limits of Allaah. These are the limits of Allaah, which He makes clear to a people who know.} [Quran 2:230]

Gazing at women is a serious matter which can cause a person to be drawn into temptation and fall into the abyss of zina (fornication/adultery), and this is why it is called zina in the revealed texts. It was narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him that the Prophet, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said: “Allaah has written for each person their share of zina, which they will inevitably fall into. The zina of the eye is to look.” [Muslim] It is obligatory to lower the gaze, especially if one is married, and it is a requirement of faith. Allaah The Exalted says (what means): {Tell the believing men to reduce (some) of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allaah is Acquainted with what they do.} [Quran 24:30]

Allaah Knows best.

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