Having daughters only is not a cause for grief at all
Fatwa No: 312145

  • Fatwa Date:28-1-2016 - Rabee' Al-Aakhir 18, 1437
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Question

Assalaamu alaykum. Praise be to Allaah, my husband and I have three daughters. They are healthy and a blessing from Allaah. Praise be to Allaah, we are a happy family with a lot of love for Allaah and for each other. My husband and I spend time and effort into our daughters' Islamic education, and we work hard to raise them to become strong and pious believers, Allaah willing. Our problem is our society and its constant reminder that we do not have a son. From random comments from strangers to hurtful words from the closest relatives and friends; they all point out how sad we must feel for not having a son and that we surely must 'try again'. These words are not only hurtful to us as parents, but we noticed that our oldest daughter has started to ask questions. Please guide us, how do we answer this cultural phenomena? Are there verses in the Quran that mention daughters in particular? Is is true what they say, that we are not blessed for having only girls? Your reply is much needed and appreciated. May Allaah reward you for your efforts.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Verily, Allaah, The Exalted, does not create or do anything in vain; all of His actions are based on great wisdom. He bestows female offspring upon whom He wills and bestows male offspring upon whom He wills; He bestows both males and females upon whom He wills and renders barren whom He wills. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {To Allaah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what he wills. He gives to whom He wills female (children), and He gives to whom He wills males. Or He makes them (both) males and females, and He renders whom He wills barren. Indeed, He is Knowing and Competent.} [Quran 42:49-50]

Indeed, there is great divine wisdom behind this; none can reverse His decrees, and there is no power that could repel or postpone His judgment; Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {...And Allaah decides; there is no adjuster of His decision. And He is swift in account.} [Quran 13:41]

Hence, whoever talks to you about the fact that Allaah, The Exalted, has blessed you with daughters only is interfering in what does not concern him should be advised and reminded of the reported ahaadeeth in this regard. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, "Part of the perfection of one’s Islam is his leaving that which does not concern him." [At-Tirmithi]

Why would you be asked to feel sad because you have been granted female children only while such an attitude (the one adopted by those people) constitutes nothing but applying the practices of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance as described in the Quran? Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {And when one of them is informed of (the birth of) a female, his face becomes dark, and he suppresses grief.} [Quran 16:58]

In fact, these people have lost sight of or overlooked the great virtues and merits of raising girls in Islam; verily, being blessed with daughters can be a reason for earning Paradise as they shield one from Hellfire. It has been reported on the authority of ʻAa'ishah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, "He who is burdened with raising daughters and is benevolent towards them, they would become protection for him against Hellfire." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Moreover, Anas ibn Maalik  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, "He, who raised two girls properly till they became mature, he and I would come (together very closely) on the Day of Resurrection," and he  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) interlaced his fingers (to explain the closeness between him and that person)." [Muslim]

Furthermore, whoever observes how sons tend to be undutiful towards their parents and how daughters tend to be rather more dutiful towards their parents can realize the great virtues of being blessed with daughters. Some parents even yearn for having daughters instead of sons. Hence, it is advisable that you should be patient and disregard such hurtful remarks. Indeed, whoever preoccupies himself with what people say brings upon himself distress, grief, and anguish.

We also say that there is no harm in supplicating Allaah to bless you with male children; verily, nothing is difficult for Allaah. There is no specific supplication reported in this regard; you may supplicate Allaah with any supplication that you know befits your situation and needs.

For more benefit, please refer to fataawa 89714 and 82274.

Allaah knows best.

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