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Husband does not pray and deals with women in casual way

Question

Assalaamu alaykum. Do I have enough reason to ask for a divorce? I am currently in the 29th week of pregnancy of my husband's second child. We live different countries, but I try to travel and see him when I can afford it as he does not have a visa to come here. He applied for it but has been refused a couple of times. The quality of my marriage has dramatically dropped ever since I helped him open a business with my clean intention of building our kids' future and thinking that the money will come back, which never happened, and now I regret it. The shop is full of girls, and the way he talks to them makes me sick, his business Facebook page makes me regret the day I met him. They share comments and emotions with each other, he laughs with different women, and he calls it business. I tried to ask him to stop it as I do not think it is right even in Islam, but he does not listen at all. Now he fancies himself a big man and thinks that I am nothing to him. He spends from the shop's money to make girls happy and to be more famous with the shop. He does not have time for me and his daughter, not even to properly chat on Skype. He concentrates more on the shop and his Facebook page than on me, his wife, and his kids. I even tried to make him fear Allaah and begged him to pray, as he is Muslim. I have caught him several times with text messages from girls, and even more, and he promised to change, but he never did. He is getting worse. I have involved his family in this matter, but he just does not listen to anyone and thinks that he is not wronging me in any way. I am not getting any support from him, neither financially, nor physically, nor even emotionally. When I get upset, he says that it is because of my pregnancy, but this has been going on even before the pregnancy. I keep having bad dreams of him with different women after my prayers, and I just do not understand what they mean. I thought that I would be able to manage it because of the distance, but because the trust that has been broken and because of the things that I see on him I feel like it might be better that I end this marriage now rather than later, when it is too late. Please respond. May Allaah reward you.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

If your husband has abandoned the prayer and is lax in dealing with girls, then that is sufficient as a sound reason for asking for a divorce. To know the valid reasons for seeking divorce, please refer to fatwa 131953.

However, we do not recommend that you hasten to ask for a divorce, especially given that you have children with him, so it is more appropriate to be patient and try to reconcile, first by supplicating Allaah, and then by taking other steps, such as advising him in a gentle manner and seeking the help of some people who might influence him. For some important guidelines on how to deal with such a husband, please refer to fataawa 92474, 88932 and 90785.

If your husband had taken your money to return it to you at a given time and that time has come and he is procrastinating in returning it to you, then he is doing you injustice. Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, “The procrastination of a rich person is injustice.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

So you should give him advice regarding this matter as well. You also have the right to take him to court if you wish, but if you fear that this would lead to more problems, then it is better to seek the help of some righteous people in this regard.

We ask Allaah Almighty to make your matters easy, relieve your distress, make a way out of your difficulties for you, and rectify your husband.

Allaah knows best.

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