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Promise of divorce is not conditional divorce

Question

Assalaamu alaykum. Last year, around August, I asked my husband to give me an oath on the Quran, by putting his hand on the Quran, to prove that he is not cheating on me again. He had done this for me once or twice before too. But this time (in August), right after giving me an oath on Skype, he said, while showing me his hand on the Quran, "You looking at this?" He meant to ask me to see his hand on the Quran. Then he said, "ab (now) Quran nahi (not), talaq (divorce) doon ga (will give)." or he said, "ab(now) Quran nahi (not), talaq (divorce) ho gi (will happen)." I think he meant, from now on I will not give you an oath on the Quran if you ask me, I will give you a divorce, or there will be a divorce. But he did not say his exact intentions, he only used three words "ab (now) Quran nahi (not)". At that time, we both did not know about the conditional divorce. After reading about the conditional divorce, I keep thinking about this conversation. I want to know if this is considered a conditional divorce? And will I be divorced even if he used the words 'I swear on the Quran', without touching the Quran? Or will I be divorced even if he just hands me the Quran? One more question: if my husband, during a conversation, says, "Go ask my family for a divorce, I cannot give you one; only they can give you one since they are the ones who arranged your marriage with me." Does this mean, by saying this, that the authority of divorce is given to his family? We both did not know anything about the authority of divorce at that time. Please help me answer my questions. I have asked a lot of people to help me answer my questions, but the problem is that my family belongs to an area where people do not believe in implicit divorce or conditional divorce, they most likely only believe in written divorce papers. So whenever I talk to someone about my questions, they think that I am crazy. Please help me, I am really hurt by my own thinking. I am trying to not love my husband anymore because I feel that one day, someone may tell me that we are divorced. Thank you.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

If the husband says, ‘I will give divorce’, or ‘divorce will happen’, it is a promise of divorce, and it is not a conditional divorce. The promise of divorce is not a divorce [it does not make divorce effective], according to the consensus of the scholars.

The fatwa of the Standing Committee of Iftaa’ reads, “If a husband says to his wife after a dispute with her, ‘you will get a divorce’, and he did not say anything else to her; then what he said is not a divorce; rather, it is a promise of divorce from him.

Therefore, divorce does not take place with these words at all, regardless of whether he swore on the Quran or not.

As regards your statement, "If my husband, during a conversation, says, 'Go ask my family for a divorce, I cannot give you one; only they can give you one since they are the ones who arranged your marriage with me.' Does this mean, by saying this, that the authority of divorce is given to his family?" then just this statement by itself is not an authorization of divorce, because authorization is a contract, and among its pillars is the formula – proposal and acceptance – and it does not exist here.

It appears that you suffer from obsessive whisperings (Waswaas) regarding divorce; so you should ignore these whisperings and not give them any attention at all. You should also know that it is the husband who says the decisive statement about divorce.

Allah knows best.

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