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Case of conditional divorce

Question

Shaykh, could you reply to this query instead of the first one? When we were having fights, my husband used to say that he would go to Pakistan and see and if I do not change my attitude, he would not come back. Recently, we were fighting, and when I kept talking in a hard way, he said that if he does not go to Pakistan within three months, I will be divorced. I asked him about it. He said that he made that condition because we fight, so he should go back to Pakistan, and if my attitude gets better, then he would return. However, he says that when he named the condition, he did not condition a certain time period, so he can come back at any time, even after a day, and he also said that the condition is only about leaving the USA. Once he goes to Pakistan within three months, the condition will be finished and there will be no divorce. He says that the condition is not regarding my attitude and that even if my attitude does not improve, divorce will not take place, but Shaykh, I am confused because at the same time he says that he made the condition because we fight so he should go back to Pakistan and if my attitude gets better then he would come back, but he bought a return ticket for Pakistan. I am also confused because later on he said that when he named the condition he thought that after going to Pakistan, he would think and decide whether to divorce me or come back if he wants to live with me. Shaykh, what is the ruling if he bought a return ticket for Pakistan and he does not come back within 10 days?
1) Was not he supposed to go Pakistan and decide before returning, and can he already decide that the will come back before even going? Also, what if my attitude is still the same?
2) Can he even come back after having made the condition?
3) Since he thought of my attitude while naming the condition, like he said that he thought that if my attitude gets better he will come back, does the condition also apply on my attitude?
4) If my attitude does not get better, can he still come back to the USA? Like, he says that he can come back anytime and that the condition does not have a fixed period and is not related to my attitude; is that correct? Or, if my attitude does not improve before he comes back, will there be a divorce?
We have divorced twice before.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

What your husband said, that if he does not go to Pakistan within three months, you will be divorced, is a kind of conditional divorce that is dependent on him not traveling to Pakistan during this period. So the matter is as your husband said, that if he traveled during this period [three months]; then the condition is over and divorce does not take place.

The quarrels between you and him and whether your behavior changes or not do not have any relation with the divorce. The same applies to him thinking of returning from Pakistan or the fact that he bought the travel tickets before your behavior changes; all this has nothing to do with the matter of divorce.

Your husband has the right to think about returning from Pakistan to the United States whenever he wants regardless of whether your behavior has changed or not.

So we hope that you both think about reconciling and that your relationship becomes better. Each of you should respect the other and know and fulfill each other's rights. Also, you should seek judgment between you according to the Sharia in regard to the problems that may arise between the two of you.

If the husband is Naashiz (mistreats his wife), then the solution for that is highlighted in fatwa 97217.

Also, if the wife is Naashiz (recalcitrant/rebellious), then the treatment for this is clarified in fatwa 85402.

If the matter is as you mentioned, that two divorces have already taken place, then both of you must be cautious and wise and beware of divorce and the reasons that lead to it; otherwise you will regret what might happen of ruining the family when it is too late to do anything about it.

Allah knows best.

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