Cannot Be a Good Obedient Wife
Fatwa No: 380441

Question

Assalaam alaykum, I have an issue with obedience. I am a married woman, and I have noticed that I'm finding it difficult to be a good obedient wife. I find that when I argue with my husband I may walk away from him due to anger and annoyance and he will call me and tell me to come back which, due to my state of anger I don't return to him and ignore these requests. I know this is disobedience and I am afraid of Allah and His punishment this may bring to me. I don't know what to do or how to cure this effectively. Sometimes I say to my husband that it is best if we get divorced as I don't want to be punished for continuing to disobey during these silly arguments. I am afraid for my aakhirah and deeply saddened by my actions I don't know what to do. Juzukallah khair

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

We ask Allah to illuminate your heart with faith and guide you to the best of manners. We advise you to strive hard and force yourself to obey your husband, be a good wife and serve him.

Persevere, seek the help of Allah and do not despair or give up, because manners can be gained and one can change them in himself; it takes training and practice. Abu Ad-Dardaa’ narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Verily, knowledge is only obtained by learning, and forbearance is obtained by cultivating (oneself to be forbearing), and whoever seeks to achieve goodness will be granted it, and whoever strives to evade evil, will be protected from it.” (Al-Khateeb in his history book; classified as sound by Al-Albaani).

Mention Allah abundantly and supplicate Him earnestly, as He is near and responds to those who supplicate Him.

Allah knows best.

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