Bored of Spending on Her Jobless Husband
Fatwa No: 395902

Question

Salam alaikumI have been paying for bills and everythg since my husband become jobless for 2 yrs now. He tried to get a job but to no avail. Im tired of having to pay for everythg. He obviously doesnt give me money to spent and if he have money from doing odd job he didnt gv me any either. Allah said men are protectors n mainteners of woman, but right now im feeling like im a man providing for family despite my husband is not disabled or bed ridden. Im losing sabr and i felt that im ungrateful. I cant take it anymore. We pray so hard that Allah grant him a permanent job that even if its less he still be able to provide a bit. I asked him to do ruqya on himself maybe he was affected and suffered blockage in life. I want out of the marriage sometimes. Does a wife gets reward for providing for her husband n childrens? Pls advise.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

What a wife spends on her husband and her children is one of the greatest acts of worship by which she gets closer to Allah and for which she gets a great reward. Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that Zaynab, the wife of Ibn Mas'ood, said: “Ibn Mas'ood claimed that he and his children are more deserving that I spend my Zakat (obligatory charity) on them. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Ibn Mas’ood has spoken the truth; your husband and your children are more deserving of your charity [Zakat] than anyone else.” [Al-Bukhaari]

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) also said: “Giving charity to a poor person will only (be rewarded as) charity, while giving charity to a relative will be (rewarded as) charity and also (rewarded for) maintaining ties with kinship.” [At-Tirmithi, An-Nasaa'i and Ibn Maajah]

However, you are not obliged to spend on your husband and children, but doing so reflects nobility and kindness, and we hope that you will find the blessings of this in your worldly life and in your Hereafter. Your husband should appreciate your act of kindness to him, and spend on you and the children where never he gets some money. He should strive hard to find work because a husband is obliged to spend on his wife and children.

We advise you to be patient and have a mutual understanding with your husband in gentle and soft manner while continuing to supplicate Allah to facilitate for him a lawful job and lawful livelihood that will enable him to carry out this obligation.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 168551, 137523, and 92004.

Allah knows best.

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