Hates her Father For Killing Her Mother
Fatwa No: 404611

Question

Assalamu alaykum, does a Muslim woman who's father killed her mother have to maintain ties with him and show kindness? This sister wanted her father to be executed after he had attacked and killed her mother in her sleep, and the execution was not carried out rather he was imprisoned in Somalia (their home country) for about a year, and thereafter he was released and is now a freeman. She doesn't want to forgive him.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that none is worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and messenger.

If this girl’s father had actually killed her mother unrightfully, there is no doubt that he had committed a grave major sin. Allah, The Exalted, Says (what means): {And do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden, except by right…} [Quran 17:33]

However, his rights over her as a father and the obligation to show dutifulness and kindness to him are not waived even if he wrongs her. Al-Bukhaari  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him assigned a chapter in his book Al-Adab Al-Mufrad to this topic under the title “Dutifulness to Parents, even if they are unjust.” In that chapter, he cited a report attributed to Ibn ‘Abbaas  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him reading: “If any Muslim obeys Allah regarding his parents, He will open two gates to Paradise for him. If he has only one parent, then one gate (to Paradise) will be opened for him. If one of them becomes angry with him, then Allah will not be pleased with him (the child) until that parent is pleased with him." He (Ibn ‘Abbaas) was asked: "Even if they wronged him (were unjust)?" He replied: "Even if they wronged him."

It should be noted, though, that a Muslim is not held accountable for the feelings of the heart, such as love and hatred. The questioner bears no sin for her inner feelings. However, she is required to restrain such feelings and refrain from translating them into words or actions that would make her father angry, so much as saying "uff," i.e. showing discontent to him, or merely frowning at him and the like, to the best of her ability.

She is not entitled to retaliate against her father for killing her mother. Rather, she is advised to adhere to patience and seek the reward of Allah, The Exalted. She should also do her best in being dutiful to her father as well as to her deceased mother. To learn about ways to show dutifulness to the parents after their death, please refer to Fatwa 82254.

Allah Knows best.

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