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Was Forced to Marry and Her Husband Cannot Join Her Except After Years

Question

salam, i got my nikkah done last year to man that i have never met before, i was unsure but due to family pressre i agreed. after the nikkah i spoke to the man a few times and realised that this is not how i see my future partner to be. the culture is different, he is a few years older and wants kids right now and i don't at the moment and i am not ready and really young and due to covid i will not be able to see him for another 2 years meaning he will not be able to be with me for another 4 years due to visas and i have my families support to seperate if it is islamically ok. i was just wondering am i able to ask for a talaaq.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The basic principle is that a woman is Islamically forbidden from asking for divorce from her husband or Khul’ except for a sound Islamic justification.

Thawbaan  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce without a sound reason, the smell of Paradise is forbidden to her.” [Abu Dawood]

One of the justifications for requesting divorce is harm. If your husband’s circumstances prevent him from joining you except after a period of time during which you are harmed while waiting for him, then it is permissible for you to ask for divorce on the grounds of harm.

Khul’ is also prescribed in the event that a woman hates her husband and is afraid of not fulfilling his right; so it is permissible for her to request Khul’ in exchange for compensation to be paid to her husband, as the woman of Thaabit Ibn Qays  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him did and her story was narrated by Al-Bukhari in his Saheeh.

We advise you not to rush for seeking divorce or Khul’ before it becomes clear to you as to what is better for you.

Finally, we would like to point out to the two following matters:

Firstly, the guardian should not force his daughter to marry a man whom she does not like, because this married life is a matter of concern to her, whether it is sweet or bitter.

Secondly, childbearing is one of the most important purposes of the Sharee’ah in marriage, and the Sharee’ah encourage having offspring. Nonetheless, the spouses have the right to agree to postpone it for a period of time due to a legitimate interest.

However, neither of them should avoid childbearing without the consent of the other party.

Allah Knows best.

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