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Fatwa CenterHer father objects to her choice for a husband
Question
My parents want me to get married. According to my mum it should be to someone who is educated and who I think is suitable for me. My mum doesn't want to force me, but my dad stopped talking to me for more than a year because I told him that I didn't want to marry the man he selected. I told him about the man I want to marry who lives in Pakistan. I saw him when I went there last year. He's my second cousin. There's something about him I like, but for some reason my dad thinks I want to marry him because we've done something Haram. I've studied in an Islamic school for 6 year and as far as I know there is nothing wrong in my stating my choice. But, I don't know how to confront my dad in a proper manner without being rude. I don't want to make my father unhappy but also I really want to marry the man I want.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
The woman has the right to choose for herself a husband, but this should be done according to Islamic etiquettes and Islamic legislation, without being in seclusion with him or subjected to any coercion. Please refer to Fatwa: 82471.
If a woman is pleased with a man of good manners and religion, and the latter proposes to marry her, then her guardian should not refuse him, and should not have suspicions about his daughter just because she had chosen a given person for marriage.
Please refer to Fatwa: 83394.
You should know, however, that the consent of the guardian is one of the pillars for concluding the marriage contract.
There are many means to convince the father, among which are:
1) To inform him that this is an Islamic right of the woman.
2) To ask your mother, or maternal or paternal uncle or any other person to whom your father can listen to intercede for you.
3) To be kind to your father and get closer to him.
4) To give him this Fatwa or the Fatawa we referred you to concerning the consent of the woman to marry. She should not be compelled to marry someone she does not like.
Allah knows best.
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