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Marital problems are causing her health problems

Question

I married exactly a year ago, and have no children from my marriage; my husband is 4 years younger. My mother in-law seems to have a problem with me. I have tried reconciliation many a times, but things are not working out. I am not able to bear the mental torture any more. I don't blame anyone for all this; I accept it as Allah's will. I have been hospitalized once for chest pain and if this continues doctors say it may affect my heart. My husband is not willing to divorce me, but I don't wish to stay with him. Advise what are the options open to a woman if man is not willing to divorce her.

Answer

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

We ask Allah to cure you and bless you with pious offspring.

You have to know that you should not ask your husband to divorce you as long as you are not harmed by staying with him, because it is forbidden to do so.

Tirmizi and Abu Dawud reported that Abu Thawban (Radiya Allahu Anhum) narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "Any woman who asks for divorce without any reason, the smell of Paradise will be forbidden to her."

By not asking for divorce, you are being faithful to your husband who is a good person as he does not wish to divorce you despite the objection of his mother.

With regard to your mother-in-law, you have to be patient with her, and treat her well although she is being rude to you, because she is your sister in Islam, and out of respect to your good husband. You can ask your husband to provide you with a private dwelling separate from the house of his mother. This may be an acceptable and definite solution, Insha Allah. You have to be soft with your husband until he is convinced of this, and let him know that this is a juristic right for the wife. You can also show this fatwa to him. If he refuses, and you are harmed by staying with him, let him know about the harm, and ask him for divorce. If he accepts and directly divorces you, then this is what you wished for. However, if he refuses, then it is permissible for you to pay him an amount of money in exchange of getting a divorce from him.

This is what the Fuqaha call "Al-Khul'u". If again he refuses, and there is an Islamic court of justice, then you can take your matter to the judge so that he can remove the harm from you, hence relieving you from the burden.

Allah knows best.

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