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He wants to return home to Muslim country, but father wants him to study among disbelievers

Question

I have come from Pakistan to do my post graduate study in the field of Psychiatry. I am a doctor. My family is back in Pakistan at the moment. I have suffered from severe depression this year as I visited Pakistan and came back to Ireland in March. I am continuously doing Istikharah about staying here or not, and to call my family here in Ireland or not. My child suffers from mild to moderate winter asthma as this country is too cold for him. He is 2 years old now. I was raised in Medina Munawwarah. Now I want to raise my child in an Islamic environment right from the beginning, not in the society of Ireland. Secondly, I become very anxious working in Ireland. Thirdly, it hampers my religious practices. I do not say my prayers on time and I have not said my Jumu'ah prayers for at least two months. I don't hear the call to prayer in this country. All this makes me feel very guilty. I continue to make Istikharah and made up my mind to go back to Pakistan. I have conflicts with my family, my sisters, and my father who essentially want me to stay here in Ireland. I have accepted a job till October of this year on the advice of my father. However, I shall stay alone till October without my family and go back in November, InshaAllah. I shall appear for a diploma in October, InshaAllah. But for the major degree (MRCPsych) I have to stay here for 4-5 years. I think the first few years are very important in the upbringing of a child. I have signals in my dreams which favour or convince me to go to Pakistan. I can complete my major (no.2) degree, i.e. FCPS in 6-7 years InshaAllah, in Pakistan. I can earn as required by my family in Pakistan also. But earning here is at least ten times more than in Pakistan. The degree of Ireland (MRCPsych.) is also slightly more valuable than of Pakistan (FCPS). I can earn to establish a clinic by October, InshaAllah. My father has allowed me to go to Pakistan in October after receiving the foreign diploma, but he still wishes if I would stay till the completion of my degree. What do you suggest in this matter whether I should stay or go back to Pakistan in the light of Islam?

Answer

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

Being dutiful to one's parents is one of the most predominant obligations after the obedience of Allah. Allah says: "And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. (Al-Isra 17:23)

However, this obedience is in what is good; if the parents order their son to disobey Allah, then there is no obedience for them. Al-Bukhari reported that Ali narrated that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "No obedience is due to anyone if they order to disobey The Creator. But obedience is in righteousness."

The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) also said: "There is no obedience to a creature in disobeying the Creator." (Reported by Ahmed and Al-Hakim, and Al-Albani said that it is an authentic Hadith.)

In addition to the above, there are many evils in residing in a Kafir country, as everybody knows. The people of knowledge say that it is not permissible to reside in a non-Muslim country except in case of necessity, or for an urgent need like seeking treatment or knowledge that is not available in Muslim countries. But this does not apply to you, because, as you have mentioned, you can seek the knowledge that you are now studying in Ireland in your country.

In addition to this, you mentioned that your child became afflicted with severe asthma in that cold country. Moreover, it is difficult to educate Muslim children in that country where adultery and mischief are widespread.

Based on all of the above, in our view no obedience is due upon you towards your father in staying in Ireland, and you have to return to your country along with your family (wife and children). Try to convince your father kindly using appropriate means. May Allah open his chest for that, and if he refuses, you do not have to obey him in this matter and there is no harm on you Insha Allah.

Allah knows best.

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