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Divorcing one's wife because she does not cook properly

Question

If my wife does something that I find not good i.e. cooking carrots instead of peas; even though I told her to cook peas that night, or if she does not make me food when I want it cooked. Can I divorce her because of her ignorance?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

A wife must obey her husband, and this obligation is very much confirmed. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "If I were to order someone to prostrate for anything or any one other than Allaah, I would have ordered the wife to prostrate to her husband." [At-Tirmithi] Moreover, the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said to one female companion: "Do you have a husband? She replied: "Yes." He inquired: "How do you treat him? She replied: "I try to fulfil all his rights on me unless I am unable to do so." He said: "Be careful about how you treat him; you will be admitted to Paradise or thrown into hell according to the way you treat him." [Ahmad]

So this woman should fear Allaah and obey her husband as long as he does not order her to disobey Allaah.

However, the husband should not be unreasonable in obtaining all his rights. Marital life should be based on tolerance and kindness, and the spouses should not insist on having every little right fulfilled. If the wife is negligent in fulfilling some of her husband's rights, then it would be wise for the husband to forgive her and reconcile with her. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another." [Muslim]

However, if disobeying the husband is a natural behaviour of the wife, then she is a disobedient wife. For more details about the steps in treating a disobedient wife, please refer to Fatwa: 83324.

Finally, it should be noted that what is mentioned in the question is not a valid reason on its own for divorcing the wife and breaking up the family.

Allaah knows best.

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