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Question
I feel myself half man and half a woman. I fear Allaah and I do not what to do. Sometimes I play with my body as a woman I refuse that but feel it sweet. Please advice me what to do. I was doing that since I was at the age of 12 year old and I'm now 36 still not married because I scared that I will not a full man.
Also I can mention that I do not cum only with masturbation i.e. I do not have the unconscious during sleeping like all men. Please advice me what to do?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, you should know that you are being greatly tested, so you have to fear Allaah and be patient. Besides you are obliged to stop enjoying your body as if it is a woman's body, and you must stop masturbating, as both methods are forbidden. Allaah says (what means): {And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame; But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors.}[Quran 23:5-7] Furthermore, we advise you to supplicate Allaah earnestly to repel from you the desires that you feel. Besides, you have to take the appropriate permissible means, as it could be a question of a physical or psychological problem; so you should consult the trustworthy doctors in this regard.
Finally, it should be noted that having wet dreams is not a condition in determining manliness or not. You should not delay taking the initiative to getting married if you are able to, as Allaah could cure you by doing so. Besides, you should not take into consideration these whispers of the devil who strives to repel you from the good of this world and the Hereafter.
For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85575.
Allaah Knows best.
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