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Fatwa CenterHer husband is addicted to intoxicants and neglects her rights
Question
Assalamu alaikum, I would like to know if a woman can seek divorce for the following reasons: I have been married for about 1 year, my husband has not kept his prayers except for 2 weeks of our marriage, he drinks and smokes marijuana, he refuses to have marital relations with me, he has threatened me with physical abuse (but not acted upon it, however I am now afraid of him as he has thrown things at me before and destroyed things in our home), I am trying o be patient but I am not sure that it is healthy for me or my deen, I find myself yelling, arguing, and feel with time I become weaker in Iman. I am verbally abused on a regular basis and feel hurt when I am rejected by my husband. when he is angry he refuses to even eat from what I cook and blames me that he is hungry. I have tried to get help from his family as my family is not muslim. This only led to more problems as he ten accussed me of turning his family against him. I am learning to suffer silently but feel depressed often and unable to concentrate on anything. what would be the best solution in this situation. I have suggested he seek help but he refuses. He takes anti depressants but often skips his medication when he will not eat or is drinking. Please help me to understand what I should do as a muslim who wishes to preserve their Islam. jazakallah khair. wassalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahe wa barakatuh
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
If your husband (as you described in the question) is negligent about his religion, does not perform the prayer, consumes intoxicants, and is negligent about your right as his wife by not having sexual intercourse with you, then you are permitted to ask for divorce. If he refuses to divorce you, you have the right to take the matter to an Islamic court.
However, you should not hasten to ask for divorce before making every effort in order to reconcile; among these means is to supplicate Allaah earnestly and advise your husband in a good and soft manner. You may also seek the help of the pious and righteous people. If he still persists on this condition after sparing no effort for reconciliation, then there is no good for you to stay with him as he is. So it is more appropriate to ask for divorce even by paying him compensation in case he refuses to grant you divorce. In this regard please refer to Fatwa 85034.
For the rights of the spouses towards each other, please refer to Fatwa 90395, and refer to Fatwa 88304 on treating one's wife with kindness.
Allaah Knows best.
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