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His wife suddenly rebelled against him

Question

I left my wife to her mothers place due to pregnancy after that i left abroad when i'm trying to call her she is not lifting my phone when i send my parents to her house she and her mother abuses and do not wants to talk to my parents nor to me i have heard that i got a child but they did not inform me or to anyone about this child my wife only put her name and perform aqeeqah without informing to any one of my family member nor to me also.
recently my wife picks up the phone and told me to go to hell and told me that you have dead to me i will pray for you to go to hell and start reciting the verses of quran to put azaab upon me.
when my wife is with me she is ok all of sudden when i left to her mothers place i don't know what will happen to her she doesn't want to be with me In this case i want to know what should i do i should leave or be with her. allah knows the best whenever she is with me i always try to keep her happy.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

If what you mentioned is confirmed, then your wife is wrong in many aspects:

1- Mistreating you and telling you off, in addition to supplicating against you without right. This is enough evidence that she is disobedient to you and rebellious against you.

2- Not informing you about this new-born baby that she gave birth to, and naming him/her without consulting you about the matter; the scholars  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them mentioned that naming the child is a right of both parents. She is also wrong in performing the ‘Aqeeqah without consulting you because, in principle, it is the father who performs the ‘Aqeeqah and not the mother.

3- Her and her family’s mistreating your parents; this is against the example of the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) in treating the in-laws kindly.

To conclude, this woman is disobedient (and rebellious) and there are some religious steps to follow in treating a disobedient wife; these are discussed in Fatwa 85402. Hence, we advise you to be kind in dealing with the matter especially that you mentioned that your wife was not used to behave in such a manner.

In any case, since she is with her family, you should appoint wise people from your family and hers so that they would try to reconcile between both of you because reconciliation is good. Afterwards, if reconciliation happens, all praise be to Allaah, but if she insists to be stubborn, then you may divorce her, and you have the right to refuse to divorce her unless she gives you compensation (the Mahr or a part of it).

For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 89039.

Allaah Knows best.

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