You are not obliged to obey your parents in asking your husband for divorce
Fatwa No: 222562

  • Fatwa Date:20-10-2013 - Thul-Hijjah 16, 1434
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Question

Assalamo Aalaykom wa Rahmatou Lah Taala wa Barakatoh, Brothers in Islam I need to ask you a big doubt/problem that I have.. I've got married last month with a brother and everything Hamdolilah was clear, as we've decided to celebrate our Wedding next year Inshaellah. So we made just a small dinner between our nearest familiars celebrating our "Quiran". What happened is that as the first time that we've got to be alone, we couldn't have control about ourselves and we made "Nika7"..being in the middle of the Kitchen. We've been discovered by my mother who saw me bleeding (it was really a bad position and that caused me an hemmorage). You could imagine what happened next, my parents throwed out my husband and his family in the main "Fajr". As much as he asked forgivness or to talk it explaining that it was his fault, they didn't want to hear anything even I haven't been forced..he tried many days after that and there wasn't any way to convince them. They forced me to proceed with the divorce for the reason that he's a sauvage and there's no way to stay with him anymore, that in case that I choose him..I'll be out home as well forgetting about them for ever.. I am still shocked about all together..by a side I've got my husband who doesn't want to separate or divorce..by the other side my parents making me this pression to obey them or leaving home.. I need to know what religion says in this situation, I know that it wasn't the moment neither the place to do that... But couldn't stop him because I didn't imagine that we will go far like this.. Help me to find a small light..Jazakom Lah Khayran

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

Your father does not have the right to force you to seek divorce and you are not obliged to obey him in this regard. For more benefit, kindly refer to Fataawa 86982and 194927.

You should know that although your husband was wrong in what he had done, this is not a sound reason for seeking divorce. Rather, it is more appropriate in this case to hasten to consummate the marriage. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 88658 and91942.

Finally, we advise you not to obey your father in seeking divorce; however, you have to treat him kindly and do good to him. We also advise you to seek the help of some wise persons of your relatives or some other righteous people who may influence your father and whose opinion may be accepted by him, to speak to him so that he may accept consummating the marriage and stop asking you to seek divorce.

Allaah Knows best.

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