Assalaamu 'alaykum: I was married 14 years back and have 5 children. In March 2013, I gifted one mobile phone to my wife with the purpose that she may contact with me and her family more comfortably. During this period she asked me that she want to have telephonic conversations with her ex-school fellows (male & females); I allowed here by considering that my wife is around 43 years and of course here class fellows would be of the same age group. But last September 2013; it came to my knowledge (with the evidence / record) that my wife has been talking to one her class fellow (named XYZ) more often on her mobile; she also had been messaging with that person. She was having these connections during my absent (my office hours) and it continued till 8 to 9 hours with intervals. That person also visited my house in my absence to meet with my wife. This situation was very shocking for me. Then I get cell phone back from my wife and gave her a written oath that “next time she will have NO connection with her class fellows (male for female) in any mode like phone, SMS messaging, emails, letter and personal meeting etc. If she will do so then there will be THREE TALAQs to her from me”. The purpose of this Conditional TALAQ (Talaq-e-Muallaq) was to threaten here and warned here “Not to have any connection with her class fellows”. But my wife talked to her one of class fellow (female) on mobile, after my above written oath. She left my house by considering that our Talaq has been occurred and sit on Iddah (waiting period). By reading various fatwa’s on your website; I understand that “if the attention of the husband is just threatening the wife for stopping her from doing any specific task then no Talaq took places even if the wife break it” Please advise in the light of “Fiqa-e-Hanfi”. Kindly also provide “complete references” of the Books and Ahaadeeth (in detail) in support to your fatwa so that I can show it to my in-laws. Kindly reply as early possible.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

It was your mistake from the beginning that you allowed your wife to contact her male school colleagues. Verily, allowing (unrestricted) conversations between women and non-Mahram men is an enormous door to Fitnah (temptation). Usaamah ibn Zayd narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “I am not leaving behind me any trial of faith that is more harmful to men than women.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] The Hadeeth means that women may be a cause of the temptation of men into sin and the corruption of their religion and worldly lives.

Your wife’s story with her former male colleague – if proved to be true – is the best proof of what we said; and it was the way you took this matter lightly that caused this tragedy. There is no doubt that your wife had committed a grave mistake and failed to fulfill her duties to Allaah and her husband as well. Indeed, a believing wife guards her husband’s honor in his absence. Allaah, The Exalted, describes the believing women in the verse that reads (what means): {… So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allaah would have them guard…} [Quran 4:34] Quranic commentators explained, “The verse means that the believing wife guards her husband's honor and property in his absence.” For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 228157.

The ruling on Talaaq Mu'allaq (conditional divorce) and its legal effects have been underlined in Fatwa 99468. According to the opinion of the majority of Muslim scholars – including the Hanafis – the divorce is effected whenever the condition is fulfilled, even if your intention was merely to threaten your wife. But according to the view held by Ibn Taymiyyah you are only obliged to pay expiation for breaking an oath (and the divorce does not become effective in this case). For more details, kindly refer to Fatwa 102811.

As for uttering a triple divorce in one instance and whether it is considered three pronouncements of divorce (irrevocable) or only one, the majority of Muslim jurists held that the three pronouncements of divorce in one instance is regarded as three divorces, unlike Ibn Taymiyyah who held that it counts as only one divorce as highlighted in Fataawa 94110 and 84170.

We would like to point out that if you did not utter the words of divorce and only wrote them down, then writing is regarded as a metaphor for divorce. In this case, the divorce does not become effective unless you had the intention of divorce. If you did not intend to divorce your wife when you wrote the words of divorce, then the divorce is not effected. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 87034 and 89894.

Finally, a husband should not hasten to utter divorce. The Islamic Sharee'ah has prescribed the means to treat the wife’s disobedience as underlined in Fatwa 85402.

Allaah Knows best.