Husband Sexting With Women so She Asked For Khul’
Fatwa No: 412897

  • Fatwa Date:12-2-2020 - Jumaadaa Al-Aakhir 18, 1441
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Question

Married to husband in state Of Texas, USA. Me, Ohio, USA for 6 months. Husband called to see if I had a friend contact him on muslim dating site where we met. Told him no. He said he thought I had asked a friend or cousin reach out to him because she was from my state. I became upset for him thinking in such away. It hurt me. We ended our call but it bothered me. I called him back a few moments later and asked him if he responded to the girl online after our call. He said he did since he knew she had no ties to me. Mind you he had told me that he would talk with women despite being with me. It hurt me because I know polygamy is permitted but how he talked to them was not. I know how because he told me that some times it became sexting Anyway, I because upset and asked for khlua. He responded by divorcing me 3x. I want to know is my iddah 1 month for khula or 2 for talaq?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

This is not considered Khul’ (divorce requested by the wife and obtained in return for some form of compensation) just because you asked your husband for Khul’. If this divorce was not issued in return for compensation, then it is not considered Khul’; rather, it is a divorce. In this case, it is incumbent on you to observe the ‘Iddah (waiting period) of a divorced woman, namely three menstrual periods. Assuming that it is Khul’, the majority of scholars held that the ‘Iddah of the woman in case of Khul’ is equal to that of a divorced woman (i.e. three menstrual periods), contrary to some scholars who held that in the event of Khul’, the woman observes ‘Iddah of one menstrual period only. It is more cautious to follow the opinion of the majority of the scholars in this regard.

If what you mentioned about your husband chatting with female other than one's Mahram (permanently unmarriageable kin) women and engaging in sexting with them is true, then this is an evil act on his part. The sin is even graver in his case because he is married; the punishment of a married adulterer is harsher, and this is why the Hadd (punishment prescribed by Allah) of Zina (fornication/adultery) for a Muhsan (one who is married or was once married) person is stoning to death, whereas the Hadd for a virgin adulterer is lashing. However, you should have given him advice instead of hastening to ask for Khul’ or divorce.

We would like to point out that the Muslim scholars held different opinions regarding the ruling on pronouncing three divorces in one single utterance. The majority of the scholars maintained that it counts as three occurrences of divorce. The chosen opinion by Ibn Taymiyyah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him was that it counts as one occurrence of divorce.

We would also like to underline that a woman should reside with her husband wherever he resides, as this helps them maintain their chastity and wards off Fitnah (temptation), especially in those environments and societies where immodesty and the display of nudity are prevalent.

For more benefit about Khul’, please refer to Fataawa 89039, 297739, 131953, 276691, 205168, and 168545.

Allah knows best.

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