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His wife does not wear Hijab and treats him indifferently

Question

I married six years back. My wife is a converted Muslim. Alhamdulillah, I have a son of 1 yr. I work in a Pvt. Co. and she is also working with another co. My problem is my wife and her casual approach and attitude towards me and her life. My parents were not in favour of this marriage and still they are not supportive. Since marriage itself, she is not interested in managing homely things, several times I have opposed to this but she says she gets tired, she don’t observe purdah despite of my repeated requests/warnings, she never take interest in reading, cooking, cleaning. Last year, Alhamdulillah, I have been gifted a son. My worry is that she doesn't have any Islamic value attached to her, except offering Namaz, she doesn’t know anything about Islam despite of several requests/warnings. I provided her infrastructure for that too viz., books etc. I wonder what she would give to my son. Second thing, she has relations to many na-mahram people in her office life, she even has relation with my friends. Just for instance and you to notice the importance that I have in her life, one day she was going to her office with me on my bike, the bike got punctured, we were walking to find a place for repair, all of sudden I saw she was going on another bike with an unknown person. This is mere a one example, she has done these sort of things in past also but of no use, I was shocked, since then I am not able to forget that episode. Even then, she is not bothered about my pain, she is happily enjoying her life, laughing, playing with son, she pretends as she is nowhere bothered about the issues of her & my life. Also these days, for last six months I am facing financial crisis, I have debts more than 15 lacs and income is limited. Sometimes I remain penniless for 10 days or so. I need support either it is financial/mental, but she doesn’t care about that too. I am all alone and seeking help from you blessed people. I don’t feel like living anymore. May ALLAH guide me.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

If it is true that your wife refuses to observe Hijab and that she establishes relationships with marriageable men, then she is disobedient to Allaah and negligent about the rights of her husband. However, since she is a new Muslim and Allaah blessed you with a son from her, then you need to be very patient about her and gradually try to rectify her and use the means which may help you in doing so. Among these means is that you should be a good example to her, and may move with her to another town or ask her to leave her job in order to keep her away from the bad environment she is in. If her condition improves, then all perfect praise be to Allaah, however, if she persists on what she is doing, then you should take the steps in dealing with a disobedient wife. These steps are mentioned in Fataawa 85402 and 84120.

The following matters should be mentioned:

1- A Good marital relationship should prevail between the spouses and each one of you should fulfil his obligations towards the other.

2- The scholars  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them differed in opinion about whether or not a wife is obliged to serve her husband; the preponderant opinion is that this depends on the customs. The spouses should help each other in this matter. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86406.

3- Cultivating and educating the child is not the task of the wife only, rather, both spouses should play their role in that. In addition to this, you may take your son to some trustworthy educational institutions to contribute in teaching and educating him.

4- Your parents might have a correct view in objecting you to marry this woman due to her behaviour, and you should have obeyed them in this.

Allaah Knows best.

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